Trenholm says” In addition, the rules for how often and when to smile vary in different cultures. And when it comes to other kinds of nonverbal meanings, such as the use of time and space, quite dramatic differences occur.” Cultures have nonverbal messages that are universal such as waving is a greeting at a friend, but there are some nonverbal displays that take on different meanings in different cultures.
This one experience I had was when I was talking with my mom, who is from South Korea, about a topic that I really didn’t care about so pretty much throughout the conversation I just listened and nodded, however towards the end a statement she said was rather annoying to me and so I rolled my eyes. After she caught me rolling my eyes she started to yell at me saying that I was glaring at her and it was disrespectful to her, and that she was my elder and that it was very rude. For me growing up here in the states, I just roll my eyes in sarcasm or just to show that it was a stupid comment, however my mom took it to another level saying it was rude. After that I never rolled my eyes in front of my mom or my dad, lesson learned, sometimes the cultural differences are hard to adjust to but through careful experiences I have managed to see which nonverbal messages worked and which didn’t.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Your rolling the eyes example is a very good one. I did not know that was disrespectful. But I will make sure not to roll my eyes at anyone who is Korean. Its interesting how things are interpreted, but I think my mom would get mad at me if I rolled my eyes at her, because she would probably interpret that as a sign of disrespect, and she is from the U.S. If someone rolled their eyes at me I would just take it as a sign of sarcasm, like you intended it.
ReplyDeleteEven though waving is pretty universal, I was just thinking about how it can have different meanings. For example, if you smile and wave it means you are happy to see someone. IF you give a mean face, raise your eye brows or roll your eyes it means you are giving a sarcastic wave...well that is how I would interpret it.
Hi MsEsther,
ReplyDeleteIsn't interesting the differences between our generation and our parent's generation? I have the same problem in that I grew in America and my parents grew up in Vietnam. Throughout my teen years, I was never able to truly connect with my parents because they don't know what it is like to be a teenager in America. They've only experienced what it is like to grew up in Vietnam, which is completely different than growing up in America. I notice that some young adults may find no problem in rolling their eyes at anyone but I do agree with your parents that rolling eyes has a disrespectful and rude connotation to it. Don't you think so? What if some stranger was rolling their eyes at you? Wouldn't you take it as a rude as well? Therefore, I think that this is a perfect example of a universal nonverbal communication where almost everyone can agree that rolling your eyes is a disrespectful thing. My parents would scold me as well when I would roll my eyes at them in my teen years. I rolled my eyes because I didn't want to listen and I didn't agree with them. That is how I would show my distaste in what they were saying. They eventually caught on and demanded that I show them some gratitude. Eventually, I grew out of my teen years and realized that rolling your eyes is never a good thing to do to someone. From then on, every time I disagree with someone, I work on my verbal communication to get the message across that I am not interested.
Signing out,
Events Dreamer
I think the lesson you learned about rolling your eyes at your mother is a good one to be learned. I think in any culture, parents would find that this is disrespectul.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I do think that even you were having a casual conversation with your mother and maybe even joking around at that time, and you did it so sarcastically, your mom still wouldn't understand that you were joking.
Verbal communication is the only way something as simple as rolling your eyes can be not as bad. If you rolled your eyes, said whatever, and laughed, I'm sure your mom would see that you're joking, other than that, I understand why she might get upset with you.
Oh well, like you said, lesson learned! =)