week 8 question 3

Pick one concept from the assigned reading that you found useful or interesting and discuss it.

In this chapter it discusses territory and the use of space, and it got interesting when discussing body territories. It says that body territories are the most private of all our territories.
I can agree it’s about our rights to see how much we can touch others and how much we are restricted to. It states “in comes cultures, practices such as tattooing or nose piercing are encouraged; in others, the yare though to be disgusting.”
This sentence brings up a time when I was in elementary or junior high, my sister and I would beg my dad to let us get our ears pierced but he wouldn’t even hear of it, even letting him know that every other girl in our class had them and all our friends had their ears pierced, he said that they aren’t his daughters so it doesn’t matter, that we are his daughters and we should obey. Upon asking why we couldn’t he said that in bible times, having something pierced meant you were a slave, and that he didn’t want that image with us. My dad being a pastor has brought many of these ideas into my dad’s head and kept his ruling. It can be a cultural thing, piercings are pretty and in India are very popular, but my dad just couldn’t let go of the fact that it had to do with slavery in the Christianity persepctive, and therefore he didn’t want us to.

week 8 question 2

Trenholm says” In addition, the rules for how often and when to smile vary in different cultures. And when it comes to other kinds of nonverbal meanings, such as the use of time and space, quite dramatic differences occur.” Cultures have nonverbal messages that are universal such as waving is a greeting at a friend, but there are some nonverbal displays that take on different meanings in different cultures.
This one experience I had was when I was talking with my mom, who is from South Korea, about a topic that I really didn’t care about so pretty much throughout the conversation I just listened and nodded, however towards the end a statement she said was rather annoying to me and so I rolled my eyes. After she caught me rolling my eyes she started to yell at me saying that I was glaring at her and it was disrespectful to her, and that she was my elder and that it was very rude. For me growing up here in the states, I just roll my eyes in sarcasm or just to show that it was a stupid comment, however my mom took it to another level saying it was rude. After that I never rolled my eyes in front of my mom or my dad, lesson learned, sometimes the cultural differences are hard to adjust to but through careful experiences I have managed to see which nonverbal messages worked and which didn’t.

week 8 question 1

Nonverbal communications is the study of communication systems that do not involve words. Everyday we are exposed to non verbal messages whether it be at the grocery store waving down the deli guy, or at school making hand signals to our friends during class, all these can easily be misinterpreted.
Just recently, my sister and I were at church and she walked in late for the service. I look over at her and she just shakes her head as if to say something was wrong. I automatically thought,” Oh great another guy problem for her” or something to that affect, however throughout service she kept glancing over at me and then to her room mate who was crying. I was utterly confused, did my sister get into a fight with her room mate? All these thoughts were racing through my head, at last after service was over, I asked her what was going on. She told me that her room mate has gotten a DUI at like 3 in the morning that day. I was shocked. This whole time I thought it was all about her but she was just shaking her head because she had to pick up her room mate from the holding cell that morning. My sister hates waking up before noon, and that affected her mood which wasn’t helpful at the time. Simple things like these signs can mean numerous things, usually when she shakes her head it’s usually about her and her situations, but not this time, it was all about her room mate and how it ruined her weekend.
Nonverbal messages can be very tricky to decipher but it helps if you know the person on a personal level and spent time together. To increase the accuracy of nonverbal messages it to be open minded and think of possibilities of what they could mean, and of course through experience by being aware of certain hand signals, such as driving in your car if a car lets you in, into their lane, you wave your hand as a sign of thanks, and the only way one will figure this out is to experience it on their own and take it once sign at a time.

week 7 question 3

I really liked the concept of empathic listening. The fact that active listening is important it truly shows that people are actually listening instead of giving half remarks. With the concept of paraphrasing shows you are really listening instead of just pretending to. To repeat and reinstate what the other speaker is saying to you, and then giving your remarks can reassure yourself and the speaker that you understand what they are saying and what your response is. I was talking to my boyfriend the other day about our vacation plans, and just to reinstate the days and the point of our trip was, made us both make sure and both understanding the point. Since we have read about how gender differences can affect communication it is important for us to paraphrase and keep responding to each other so we understand the concepts.

week 7 question 2

I believe that men and women use language differently in certain ways. Just like some of the examples in our book such as the scenario with Michael and his girlfriend, Michael’s friends ask whether it’s okay to come over to watch the game on Friday. Michael says, “sure.” When he tells his girlfriend, Alyssa, she’s upset-not because the friends are coming but because Michael didn’t consult her first. Had the situation been reversed, she would have asked.” I have to check with Mike” would have been a way for her to let others know that she’s part of a couple. For Michael, however, asking Alyssa implies he needs to get her permission. This scenario’s end result shows that as the women they would like to be more personal and included in everyday life even if it’s a small thing but as to men it may be showing to be needy. In our book it states from Deborah Tannen, “Women’s cultures, she belives, stresses intimacy and connection, whereas men’s culture values autonomy and individual achievement. These orientations affect men’s and women’s topics of conversation, their conversational styles, and their interpretation of one another’s meanings.” Our conversation does differ from relationship to relationship but overall the way we are raised are usually based on our gender. As a female my parents taught me to be more passive and a nurturer, especially being the oldest it has taught be to be responsible. My only brother was taught to be tough and strong and respectful. There’s a difference and it plays a big role in each lives.

week 7 question 1

I believe that possible to perceive other without judging or categorizing them as long as we keep an open mind. It is our natural instinct and whatever prior experiences we have had, to judge others, but we can keep those to ourselves and realize that there are those genuine nice and friendly people who don’t have hidden agendas. We probably categorize people because of what we may have gone through before with those kinds of people or something that are similar to the prior experience. We have to give them the time of to let them truly show their true colors. I have made judgments before in the past of certain people but they turned out to be the best friends that I have now, I maintained an open mind and kept my feelings out of how I decide who they truly are. To make it more fair, you give them time, and chances so that you can understand who they are and what they are all about. Without patience, and keeping an open mind most people will continue to judge and be short minded. We have to be fair or else, all of the world will be hating each other.